i need an iv and a liver transplant
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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