Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize