I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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