can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
