New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
