And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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