So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
