She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
