how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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