So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
