We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
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I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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