You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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