Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
