I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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