I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
