farters have to be the big spoon...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
