I could have mohawked her pubes.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ttyl tear gas
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
