at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
