I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
