The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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