Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
