Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
