it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
