i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
