I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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