you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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