Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
