oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ketchup is God's man juice
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
