I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My pussy is not your playground.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
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As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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