i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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