im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize