I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
