Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
