I seem to have left my pride at pride
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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