so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
