Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
