do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
