He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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