she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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