You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
