PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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