Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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