I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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