if you like me you must not know who I am
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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