I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
thus making me awesome and them whores
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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