I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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