I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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