Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
