Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
