Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
