would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
