I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
