It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I pour the whiskey from now on
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
