at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
