Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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