Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
