no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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