nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
